MOM - "I am feeling rather flushed."
Child - "So, we are living in a toilet?!"
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Thoughts on Cleaning
M - You need to go back up the stairs and finish picking up your toys.
C - I can't.
M - Yes, you can. You made the mess you can pick it up.
C - Only if you come and help.
M - I did not make the mess, why do you need my help?
C - Because it is too messy.
M - Well, that is too bad. You made the mess you need to finish cleaning it up.
C - I can't! Do I look like an Octopus?!
M - An octopus? No.
C - Well I need 8 arms to clean up that mess!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
On The Way the World Started
C- Dad how was the earth made?
D - No one really knows. Lots of people think lots of things.
C - I think the mud people made the earth and they died because the rain rained on them and they just became mud piles.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
On Bathroom Humor
C - I need to go pee.
M - You have already gone pee twice in 10 minutes.
C - I know. I just need to go. I have Pee-a-reah. It's like Diarrhea but with Pee.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thoughts on the Birds and Bee's
Child - "Mom when I grow up I am going to have tones and tones of kids!"
Mom - "How many?"
Child - "Fifty Thousand! I am going to give my wife all my seeds!"
Mom - "Really?"
Child - "Yea. Mom, what's this called again?" Pointing to his scrotum.
Mom - "Your testicles."
Child - "Oh yea, that's where the seeds are." Pause. "Mom, can I ask you a question?"
Mom - "Yes."
Child - "How do the seeds get out of my testicles?"
Mom - Pause. "Though your penis."
Child - "So I have to PEE in my wife?!?!?!"
Child - age 4
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Thoughts on Pretend Play
Child : "Want to Play Stable?"
Mom : "Stable?"
Child : "Yea, I will be the Baby Jesus's daddy, you can be Mary, and brother can be Baby Jesus."
Mom : "Like from Christmas?"
Child : "Yea, but then the stable catches on FIRE and the Rescue Heroes come to save everyone"
Mom : "I don't think there were Rescue Heroes when Jesus was a baby..."
Child : "Yes there was because this is my story, how *I* want it!"
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